Horny lesbians put dildos on moving boats

No riptide, no undertoe, no unusual occurrence, no sharks.

And the Coast Guard says there's no way the body could have been washed into the sea lanes.

Dina programmed all the information we got into the computer, came up with a 3D graph where the body should have washed up, but so far nobody's found anything.

And according to the Sheriff's report here, no one has reported a body washed into shore.

So where is this guy?